The holidays can bring a flurry of excitement—and stress. We overspend, overcommit, and overstretch ourselves trying to create the “perfect” season for our families. But striving for perfection often pulls us away from what matters most: connection, rest, and shared joy.
This year, try shifting the focus from doing it all to being together. Small changes can bring more meaning (and less pressure) to your celebrations.
1. Think about your and your family’s warmest memories
When you look back on your happiest memories, it’s often the simple, unplanned moments that stand out—laughing over a board game, singing in the car, or decorating cookies together.
Children especially remember warmth and togetherness, not expensive gifts or elaborate plans. Choose one or two meaningful activities as a family and let go of the rest.
Clinician insight: Children thrive on attuned, relaxed family time. When parents are less stressed, kids feel more secure and joyful too.
2. Reimagine Gift-Giving
This year, many families are embracing less material and more meaningful giving. Try:
- Setting a simple limit, such as one thoughtful gift per person.
- Doing a “Secret Santa” exchange among relatives or coworkers.
- Giving experiences instead of things—tickets, memberships, or a day trip together.
- Choosing creative toys or books that spark imagination and last beyond the season.
Tip: Let children be part of the process. Helping pick or make gifts teaches empathy and thoughtfulness.
3. Enjoy Local, Low-Cost Magic
The Bay Area shines this time of year—and much of it is free. Bundle up for a drive to see neighborhood light displays. Visit ZooLights, explore Union Square’s decorations, or check out menorah and tree lightings around town. Even a walk downtown to see window displays can become a cherished yearly ritual.
Try this: Ask each family member to choose one festive activity and build your calendar together.
4. Enjoy simple holiday traditions
Traditions don’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Baking cookies, making paper snowflakes, or writing kind notes to neighbors can all become special rituals.
On quiet evenings, read favorite holiday stories, make homemade ornaments, or watch a family movie by candlelight.
Clinician insight: Repeated rituals help children feel rooted and calm, especially during a busy season. They provide predictability and a sense of belonging.
5. Make some outdoor memories
Nature offers a peaceful reset amid the holiday bustle. Visit a local park or beach, take a family hike, or explore one of the Bay Area’s pop-up skating rinks. Make bird feeders or decorate a “gratitude tree” in your yard.
Research shows that even short outdoor time lowers stress hormones for both kids and adults.
6. Say No—Gracefully
Do you really have to attend every office, school and neighborhood party or event? Decide which activities truly give you pleasure and try to guiltlessly skip the ones that don’t. The same goes for holiday cooking, decorating and other activities. If something isn’t pleasurable, no matter how much it fits into your idea of a “perfect” holiday, opt to do something you enjoy instead.
Tip: Model healthy boundaries for your children. Learning to say “no” kindly is a valuable life skill.
7. Protect Rest and Routine
Excitement and irregular schedules can make it harder for kids to regulate emotions and sleep. Try to keep bedtime and meals predictable, and build in quiet downtime between events.
Give children advance notice about changes to routines, and don’t forget to take breathers for yourself too.
Follow these additional tips for minimizing holiday stress for children.
8. Give Back as a Family
Helping others builds empathy and gratitude in children. Volunteer at a local food bank, join a coat or toy drive, or let kids choose a charity to donate to. You can even create “kindness coupons” as gifts—offers of help, time, or care for someone else.
Try this: Ask your child who they’d like to help this season, and brainstorm ways to do it together.
A Gentle Reminder
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. By focusing on connection, compassion, and care—for your family and yourself—you’ll nurture the moments that matter most.
If this season feels overwhelming for you or your child, JFCS’ Center for Children and Youth is here to help. Our team provides counseling, guidance, and support for families year-round. Call 1-888-927-0839 or contact us online
