Stress, anger, frustration, and other “negative” feelings—they’re a part of everyone’s life: yours, your spouse’s or partner’s, and your children’s. The following guidelines and suggestions may help you and your children. Keep them in mind when you’re managing difficult situations, and show your children how to apply them when they face their own challenges.
- Eat and sleep: Healthful food and sufficient sleep are essential for a balanced emotional state. If you are behind in food and/or sleep, take a timeout for a “power bar” (or any nutritious snack) and/or “power nap” to help you stabilize so you can take steps toward greater balance and fuller revitalization.
- Relaxing the body helps to relax the mind, and relaxing the mind eases difficult feelings:
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- Some people do best to slow down and relax (meditate, breathe deeply, sit under a tree, read, listen to music…).
- Other people do best to speed up and exercise to relax (run, bike, dance…).
- Reframe negative thoughts to positive/helpful thoughts: “I can’t face it” becomes “It’s hard, but I’ve done it before so I can do it again,” “I’ve survived worse,” or “If I ask for help, it will be doable.”
- Reflect: Write in a journal or take a walk and challenge yourself to reflect and learn from current and past problems and solutions.
- Accept the feelings and focus on what’s next: “I feel nervous but I can still do it. Plus, the sooner I get started, the sooner it’s over…”
- Think about, or do something, that you enjoy. It helps to take your mind off the feelings.
- Creativity: Draw or write about it. Drawing and writing help get feelings out, while the creative process often spurs ideas, solutions, and renewed hope.
- Tell someone what you are feeling and thinking. Talking helps get the feelings out, and you will feel better afterward.
- Ask for help. Sometimes, people we trust will have ideas how to feel better or how to solve a problem that we hadn’t thought about.
If you have persistent or debilitating negative feelings and thoughts—including anxiety, fear, depression, or difficulty with frequent or extreme bouts of anger—consider seeing a therapist who practices cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT provides tools and techniques to become more aware of thoughts, feelings, and actions while learning ways to develop new and healthy thoughts, feelings, and action habits. CBT can be effective with children as well as adults.
