The role of family and community in child development is well established—children who grow up surrounded by caring adults and engaged peers develop stronger social skills, better emotional regulation, and a more secure sense of self. We’ve all heard “it takes a village to raise a child,” and any parent who has scrambled to find a babysitter or been late to school pick-up knows how true that is. What can be less obvious is how to build that village, maintain it over time, and expand it as your family’s needs evolve.
What Families Gain from Community Membership
Their nuclear family is a child’s first community, but just as you need other relationships to thrive, so do your kids. This includes same-aged peers and friends, but importantly, it also means other non-parental adults who can impact your child’s upbringing—teachers and coaches, religious leaders, extended family, and trusted friends.
Dr. Dan Siegel, Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and a member of the Center for Children and Youth’s expert panel, emphasizes the value children gain from having multiple adult attachments. The more supportive communities children are a part of, the more aware they become of our interconnected world. These integrated relationships lead to more communication between different areas of the brain, building a child’s ability to self-regulate their emotions, mood, empathy, and behavior.
Building community and entrusting your child to the care of other adults is also good for you. When you feel the weight of parenthood, you can turn to others for advice, help, and guidance in raising your child and shaping who they will become.
Creating Connection with Others
Children at every stage benefit from a widening circle of connection. Young children who engage regularly with peers and caring adults develop stronger social skills and emotional regulation. For adolescents, participating in community-based groups and forming bonds with non-parental adults helps them develop a clearer sense of identity and values—foundational elements for a healthy adulthood. No matter where your child is developmentally, there are always opportunities to expand and strengthen their connections.
Parents can support their child’s development, identity formation, and sense of community by signing them up for activities, participating in school events, or spending time with other families. Encouraging tweens and teens to balance their free time with joining groups of like-minded peers will help foster a healthy, community-based sense of self.
How CCY Can Help
As a division of Jewish Family and Children’s Services, the work of CCY focuses on creating welcoming communities as a key Jewish value. Through CCY, you’ll find programs for your family at every stage, from the moment you welcome your first child until you send your youngest off to college.
Community is critically important for new parents, who often feel isolated. Our Jewish Baby Network (JBN) program serves expectant parents and families with children ages 0–36 months throughout the Bay Area. By offering opportunities for connection, family events, and helpful resources, JBN encourages its participants to get to know each other and lean on one another through the joys and challenges of early parenthood. All are welcome, including those unaffiliated, single and multi-parent, multi-faith, multi-ethnic, multi-abled, and LGBTQ+ families.
CCY also offers ongoing baby play groups where parents can ask questions and spend quality time with their child to promote growth and development during the first year of life.
Your child’s school is another space where community takes shape. By focusing on social-emotional learning alongside academics, schools reinforce qualities such as resilience, kindness, and empathy.
The tween and teen years are also a critical time for forming integrated relationships. During adolescence, the brain is reorganizing and teens begin identifying their personal values—making it a significant opportunity for growth. Youth benefit from being part of non-school-based affinity groups and having adult role models in their lives, including youth workers, coaches, and teachers who provide positive reinforcement and support skill development.
CCY’s YouthFirst program brings together teens and pre-teens from across the Bay Area to discuss important questions and build the skills they need as they move into young adulthood. Programs include leadership development, internships, career exploration, and Jewish service-learning.
It’s important to put in the work to find and maintain your village. Not only will you benefit from having others to rely on—being exposed to diverse communities and forming attachments with other adults will allow your children to develop into well-rounded, empathic people. As always, we’re here to help you every step of the way.
