By Dr. Madeline Levine and Dr. Garry Rayant
When my son Richard was in high school, he took an initiative that made me both proud and concerned. Curious whether stress levels among his peers were as elevated as what he was experiencing, he decided to conduct a school-wide survey. The results were alarming: stress levels were through the roof, and most students were sleeping less than six hours a night. When his high school refused to publish these findings, citing potential damage to their reputation, it highlighted a broader issue—our reluctance to confront the mental health challenges facing our youth and, by extension, their parents.
Recently, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy brought national attention to this crisis with his advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents. This report validates what many of us have long observed: the overwhelming majority of parents are experiencing severe and prolonged stress, with harmful effects cascading to their children. While this recognition is a crucial first step, much work remains to be done.
As a parent, healthcare professional, and co-chair of the advisory council for Jewish Family and Children’s Services’ Center for Children and Youth (CCY), I’ve witnessed firsthand the increasing pressures on families, especially in our Bay Area Jewish community. The cost of living, academic expectations, and heightened concerns about antisemitism, have created a perfect storm of stressors for parents and children alike.
Today’s parents navigate an increasingly complex landscape. We’re not just concerned about our children’s academic success or social development; we’re worried about their safety in a world where cyberbullying and hate crimes are on the rise. Jewish parents, in particular, grapple with the added anxiety of protecting our children from antisemitism while preserving their cultural identity.
The mental health of parents is intrinsically linked to that of their children. When we’re stressed, our kids feel it. When they’re struggling, we internalize that pain. It’s a cycle that demands attention and action.
To address this challenge, we need a multi-pronged approach. At the Center for Children and Youth, we’re tackling this issue head-on by offering comprehensive services to help parents. From counseling and support groups to educational workshops and advocacy training, we’re equipping parents with the tools they need to support their children and maintain their own well-being. We also recognize that many parents are part of the “sandwich generation,” simultaneously caring for their children and aging parents. JFCS’ services span this entire spectrum, including providing support for aging family members through our Seniors at Home and Rhoda Goldman Plaza programs, offering a complete support system for families at every stage of life.
However, we recognize that providing services, while crucial, is not enough. We need to change the culture and systems that contribute to parental stress. This is why we’re also advocating for policy changes, pushing for better mental health support in schools, addressing cyberbullying, and promoting Holocaust and genocide education to combat ignorance and hate. It’s about creating a better society, where parents feel supported, where children’s mental health is prioritized, and where families can thrive despite external pressures.
As we work towards these changes, it’s crucial to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The challenges we face as parents in today’s world are unprecedented, and it’s okay to admit we don’t have all the answers.
The story of my son’s high school survey reminds me that our children are often more aware and resilient than we give them credit for. By empowering them and supporting ourselves, we can build stronger, healthier families and communities.
As we move forward, let’s commit to being advocates—for our children, for ourselves, and for a society that prioritizes the well-being of families. Together, we can create a future where stress and anxiety don’t define the parenting experience, but where support, understanding, and community do.
Dr. Garry Rayant
Dr. Garry Rayant is a leading advocate on behalf of children and youth. He serves on the board of Jewish Family and Children’s Services and co-chairs the advisory council for JFCS’ Center for Children and Youth.
Dr. Madeline Levine
Dr. Madeline Levine is a psychologist, educator, New York Times-bestselling author and a co-founder of Challenge Success, a project of the Stanford Graduate School of Education. Dr. Levine serves on the expert panel for JFCS’s Center for Children and Youth.
